How to Skin a Squirrel

Garbage Truck Costume How-To

2007-10-26T12:55:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Matt's Garbageman costume from last year. Below I've included some instructions on making it yourself. Enjoy!

Some of the things you'll need:
cardboard (big sheets are good, but if you have smaller boxes lying
around you can always duct tape pieces together)
Duct tape
masking tape
glue gun
carpet knife
2 cans of green (or whatever color your trucks are) spraypaint
2 nylon straps about 2 1/2 feet long each
some cotton batting
yardstick/straight edge
assorted craft paint or acrylics for the details
patience (and maybe some band-aids)

Click on an image to make it bigger.

Now that I'm looking at the page below again, I think you'll probably be better off scoring the 3 1/2" marks on the far right and left of the big sheet on the opposite side of the cardboard, since the folds are going to be going in the other direction. Sorry about that.

And here's Mr First Prize Garbageboy at last year's Halloween party at the Park District. You wore it well, lil' dude!

Some Thankees, And One For My "Core Audience"

2007-03-12T21:55:00.000-07:00

Well. languagehat kindly posted a link to this neglected, junk drawer-of-a-blog in this MeFi comment, and boom, I get more hits in three hours than I usually get in two months. Now that's sway! So now I'm looking around this cluttered trainwreck, and it occurs to me that maybe I should work a little harder in the upkeep department. Having new visitors here feels kind of like having neighbors drop in when there's hair all over the sink and clumps of dog puke drying on the living room carpet... In other words, I oughta be used to it. But I'm gonna work on it anyway, I swear to gawd.

If any stray MeFites wander this way, may I suggest some worthier blogs? There's the 'hat's own imcomparable work, linked above, and a new favorite, Interrobang's A Year In Comics. Then there's Ucceliina's beautifully wriiten and thought provoking A Bird's Nest. And of course, I never stop shilling for Filboid. His latest post on Charles Dana Gibson is an absolute feast. Enjoy!

As for "my core audience", I am of course referring to the unending stream of googlers hoping to find instruction in the manly art of squirrel skinning. This is pretty damn disappointing for you, I'll bet! Yeah, I know, false advertising and bait'n'switch and all that, but the quick studies among you might glean everything they need from my cheery title graphics.* For the rest, I offer this short film, "Squirrel Melts." Bon appetit!

Yeah, I know! Where's the skinning?! There must be a complete version of this show out there somewhere, and if I ever find it I'll post it. I don't actually have a problem with eating squirrel meat and I'd like to learn how to dress game, what with peak oil and the coming end times and all. Yet, when I see that plump, pink, headless little rodent curled up in Hunter Mom's frying pan, I can't help but cringe. It's just so... fetussy. It's like a longpig Lunchable. Shiver. For authentic squirrel cookery I look to Bayou Bill, a man who can proudly state, "I do not look down my nose at any piece of squirrel including heads." Which is a good point, since brains and face meat are the fattiest (and most savory) portions of lean animals like rabbits and Nutkins. Bill's blog is really fascinating, and if you're the outdoorsy type (or the armchair variety, like me) there's a lot of great stuff here, and nicely written to boot. So that's actually TWO for the core audience. I'm a giver!

Wow, four paragraphs... Stick a fork in me, I'm exhausted. Ouch!
Let's see if I can do this again before Easter rolls around.
Good night, googlers!

*(Courtesy of the 1964 edition of "The Joy of Cooking." Aren't they great? There's a section in that edition on storing eggs in something called waterglass. I have no idea what that is, but if I ever start a Prog Rock band, I gotta name.)

Matt Is A Single Issue Voter

2007-02-14T15:18:00.000-08:00

Matt likes to look at pictures of garbage trucks on Google's image search. He was sitting in my lap clicking away, when we landed on this entry at The Anti-Sam Brownback Blog.

The following conversation ensued:

MATT: What does it say, Mommy?

ME: Hmm... Well, this is a page from a blog critical of this guy Sam Brownback, who's going to be running for president. It says that he, uh, wants communities to use money that they'd usually spend on garbage trucks to fund the war over in-

MATT: He doesn't want garbage trucks?

ME: Well, I guess instead of-

MATT: What's he got against the garbage trucks? Who is this guy? Doesn't he know how important the garbage trucks are?! [rising fury] Why doesn't he just stay in his own neighborhood and be president over there?! He should not get to be the president of all the neighborhoods!

ME: Huh! Well, uh-

MATT: [white hot rage] His name shouldn't even be Sam Brownback! It should be Sam... Stupidback!!

[awkward silence]

ME: Well. That's quite a stance!

MATT: [sheepishly] I used the 'S' word.

ME: That's okay, honey.

Matt at my Old Grade School

2007-01-13T19:26:00.000-08:00

I took this photo at Christmastime, when we were visiting my parents. That imposing building in the background is my old grade school. The lens of the camera was dirty, which gives this shot the dreamy, Vasoline-on-the-lens quality. Sort of reminds me of Christina's World.

The Funniest Drawing In The World

2007-01-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

... According to Matt.

See, it's funny 'cuz dogs don't use the potty, see? See?!

Well, at least I amuse somebody.

Happy Xmas!

2006-12-16T01:52:00.000-08:00

A few of my favorite Christmas posts from MetaFilter:

Everyone loves a lil' pooper in the creche. The story of the Caganer.

Also from our Catalan friends, the "cagar el tió", or Shit Log. Beat your wood till the herring spills out!

David Sedaris on Christmas in Holland, where the good tots can expect gifties from the former Bishop of Turkey, and the bad ones can expect a brutal visit from 6 to 8 black men and Sinterklaas. (PDF)

More on that..."Zwarte Pieten"

And what's Christmas without that lil' devil Krampus?

And then there's the eternal question faced by parents of gullible small fry: Santa or no Santa?

And my favorite Christmas card ever, courtesy of jonson:

And a Happy Holiday to you all!

Easter Yegg

2006-04-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

"Frohe Ostern", Michael Sowa

Art imitates life in Felton as a monster bunny goes on a vegetable-devouring rampage:

At the Northumberland Arms, hunched villagers whisper of the giant, ravenous rabbit prowling the community at night. No one, it seems, can catch it, and no home-grown vegetable is safe.

The creature leaves behind huge footprints, has diabolically shaped ears and is proving the biggest threat to cabbages in the history of the local allotment. So strong that it is able to pull leeks and turnips fully out of the soil, the black-and-brown rabbit has already demolished a market stall’s worth of Japanese onions, parsnips and spring carrots.

And here's the lop-eared maniac:

This sounds so familiar... Like something I might have seen in the theater recently. Hmm, now what was it...?

Happy Giant Rampaging Lagomorph Day!

Hieronymus Rocks

2006-03-28T22:25:00.000-08:00

Spokes for the Wheel of Torment is the name of a music video featuring the music of the enigmatic guitarist Buckethead and the paintings of Hieronymus_Bosch. So it's just as cheerful as you probably imagine. The short's directors, Syd Garon and Eric Henry, animated details of Bosch's "Hell" panel from the triptych The Garden of Earthly Delights. It works.
(Not safe for work, or for the skittish.) Enjoy!

Like the video? Why not relive the wonder with your very own Hieronyous Bosch Action Figure? (I'm partial to this lil' mailman to the damned. He puts the "Fun" in "Funnelhat"!)

Family Portrait

2006-03-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

Here's Matt's family portrait. I told him I liked his faces (and I do! Lots of character!) so he made us all two headed freaks.
I'm so proud of that lil' shaver!

Must See TV

2006-03-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

From Yahoo UK:

Hotel heiresses Paris and Nicky Hilton are making a cartoon TV show about their lives, in the style of The Simpsons.

The American siblings have spoken to Interscope boss Ted Fields, who will make the series and hope to air it on US television.

OMG.
WTF.
LOL.
ROTFLMAO.
IANAL.
PETA.
OPEC.
USA. USA! U. S. A. !!!!!

That said, these are really nice drawings. The full set are here.

Weirder still, a commenter on The Superficial posted a couple of pages from a Japanese manga (?!?!!) devoted to the Hiltons. (You can see them here and here.) I took the liberty of reproducing some details:

Which one's Kathy? Which one's Paris?.

The first time I came across Paris Hilton was in an issue of Vanity Fair. It was an advertising spread for some fashion house, I forget which, but the thing that struck me about the photo were her enormous man mitts. They seemed to be the focal point of the picture. So I just assumed she was a self aware drag queen, a la Amanda Lepore. I was really disappointed to find out there was nothing ironic going on, and that she was, in fact, just another run-of-the-mill media creation, albeit one without any discernible purpose. What's the matter with kids today? Haven't they ever heard "Eat the Rich"? No wonder this country is going to hell in a handbasket. Get off my lawn!
Anyway, I like how the manga artist captured those giant meathooks. Good job, sir or madam.

I Had Comments??

2006-03-23T01:29:00.000-08:00

Big apologies, Red & Cory. All this time I thought I was talking to myself here, and meanwhile Blogger has your comments tucked away in a little unpublished nook. Well. Now I'm certainly self-conscious.

*coff*

Oh look, here's a recipe for cooking squirrel! Don't look down your nose at a boiled squirrel's head, ladies.

Jot the Dot

2006-03-23T00:01:00.000-08:00

There was a wonderful post this week over at Cartoon Brew about "Jot the Dot", a cartoon series produced by the Southern Baptist's Radio and Television Commission and which first aired in 1963. The Southern Baptists decided they needed some kids' programming to compete with the Lutheran's "Davey and Goliath", and the surprising result were these gems of modernist design. I've heard "Jot" compared to shorts done at UPA, but I think they have a sensibility all their own.

I first saw "Jot" when I was a kid, probably on channel 38 in Chicago (a religious UHF channel.) I had deeply mixed feelings about them; the design and animation are so engaging that I was always drawn in, but the moral lessons felt stiflingly heavy-handed. (For instance, when Jot's mother in the NoMam short defines 'abdomination' as God's 'dislike', well, I admit to some violent wincing.) Nevertheless, seeing them again after all these years is a treat.
Check out how fluidly the story is told here using a minimum of dialog:

I'd like to thank Nate Pacheco for finding and posting these. It'd be nice to see them collected on DVD in a nice clean print.

...
I just checked the user comments for "Jot" at IMDB. They're pretty hilarious, particularly one that describes Jot as an "unsettling christian cartoon in which all the children were glowing "dot"s that were trapped in a playground of eternal night." Pass the dutchie, muh man!

Matt's Priorities

2006-03-22T00:58:00.000-08:00

After we'd finished dinner tonight, I asked Matt if he'd like to make a daily schedule for himself. Here's his weekly agenda, as dictated to me:

I particularly envy his bold choices for Thursday.

Serge Gainsbourg! Serge Gainsbourg!

2006-03-03T18:41:00.000-08:00

First things first: open this in a separate window, and just let the music ("Intoxicated Man", btw) cycle while you read.

I don't know much about Serge Gainsbourg. My husband Steve's Swiss friend Corinne would leap out of her seat, fluttering her hands and squealing "Sergegainsbooooooor! Sergegainsbooorg!" whenever she heard one of his songs: so I've always pronounced his name with fluttering jazz-hands and a squeal. But I'm pretty sure I've misunderstood his appeal. I guess I assumed he was sort of a French showbizzy Leonard Cohen, kind of a Jerry Lewis mixed with Lou Reed. I'm guessing I have no freaking idea.

Here are some links;
A ton of video links, including some with Brigid Bardot (check out "Comic Strip" or "Bonnie and Clude".)

This guy wants you to know Serge Gainsbourg died in March of 1991. That's sad, but then, he never got to experience the post 9/11 world. Serge, I want you to know I envy your dead ass. But wait, there's more.

Those Flightless Peahens Were Rightfully Mine!

2006-02-18T23:53:00.000-08:00

An old man, vibrant but frail,
Shot and bagged a couple of quail
He thought himself slick
But he was hunting with Dick
Whose resentment was fueled by much ale

Nothin' Says Lovin' Like Canned Meat in the Oven

2006-02-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

I myself often feel like a sack o' sauce encased in a can o' meat. Perhaps it's the human condition.

There's more odd foodstuffs at Kookychow, including the enticingly named "Bloater" (main ingredient: "other fish") and my personal favorite, "Sharables Tuna Jerky" ("for dogs, cats & you".) Not a huge collection, but choice snackin'.
I should also mention The Gallery of Regrettable Food at Lileks.com, but with the caveat that anyone entering that site should take caution not to wander far from The Intitute of Official Cheer or The Flotsam Project, unless one's stomach for liberal hatin' is made of cast iron.

Doodle

2006-02-03T01:42:00.000-08:00

Not much of a drawing, I know.

Breaking My Wacom Cherry

2006-02-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

I admit this is pretty ghastly, but it's my first go on a real Wacom tablet (that is, one made after 1996). Tablet or no, I clearly have to work on my painting skills. Yuck.... I'm going to try to draw & post one thing a day, and hopefully I'll show some improvement eventually.

Goatse

2006-01-22T14:51:00.000-08:00

Here's some pictures Matt took at the petting zoo. He likes his goats up close and personal.

Tomorrow I have to go for jury duty in Santa Monica. I'm not looking forward to it, but since I've never had to serve on a jury before, I guess it's about time. Time to be a citizen! Yay.
At least I should be able to fill some sketchbook pages while I'm waiting to see if I'm called.

Test Dog

2006-01-17T23:50:00.000-08:00

Just seeing if my scanner works. Enjoy my crummy doodle!

Goodbye Kitty

2006-01-13T20:49:00.001-08:00

Sorry, Cy. I thought you were fake, too. Better luck in your next incarnation.

BixDog, the Real One

2006-01-06T17:22:00.000-08:00

bixel
Originally uploaded by brotherbix.

For your viewing pleasure, here's the One True BixDog. I'm borrowing his name for my Blogger ID. Which is sort of a shame, because I suspect his blog, if only he was capable of maintaining one, would be a lot fresher than mine. Or a lot more about licking pee out of the living room carpet, whichever.

He is undeniably handsome, I'll give him that.

The Passion of the Yeast Maiden

2006-01-06T14:52:00.000-08:00

I just tossed a couple of loaves into the oven. Today was a bit of a breadmaking experiment; I'm using a starter sponge that's been fermenting away since dinnertime last night in the hope of producing something along the lines of a mild sourdough. I have no idea what these will taste like, or if I did the starter properly, but I'm committed to the idea of using a starter now. I like the idea of caring for these hungry little yeast creatures. I keep them warm and feed them flour, and they perform their foamy little trick for me with the eargerness of vaudville poodles. The process makes me feel like a benevolent bacteria shepherd. Eat my pretties, eat and fart! I may be getting a little too involved here... Oh what the hell, I'm going to name them. The Mad Gassers of Who-Ville? The Republic of Glutonia? Boris? I'll have to work on it.

The dough rose nicely once I got it into the bread pans, although I let it sit about an hour longer than I usually do. I've been sorta kinda following Julia Child's recipe for wheat bread from The Way to Cook, and her rise times are quite a bit longer than I usually do. The French theory, she says, is that the yeast needs to work with the dough to build character. So there's not a lot of babying the stuff during the rises; no oil in the bowl, cool temperatures, up to four hours total of rest between kneadings. But I didn't stick to her simple ingredient list. Had to throw in the honey, flaxseed meal and poppy seeds. Maybe I'll follow directions on the next batch.

........

Hothothot - Just dropped them onto the cooling racks. I forgot to leave a pan of water in the oven. D'oh! I hope that didn't mess the crusts up too much. Here are my wheaty creations:

sourdough loaves
Originally uploaded by bixdog7.

Not the prettiest dough bricks ever, but I think they held up pretty well. In a couple hours I'll try a slice. I'm crossing my fingers.

........

I don't have any stale Metafilter links for this post, but here's a couple bread websites that had some useful information:
Baking 911 looks like a good bread resource. The bread starter page is so crammed with information it's almost painful, but there's some discussion of homemade starters (that is, using the yeast floating around in the air as opposed to commercial yeast) that's worth a look. This guy has a nice step by step guide to keeping your new bacterial buddies happy and healthy between bakings. I'm going to have to reread this tonight. Breadinfo Looks promising, too. I'll add more as I find 'em. Ta!

Happy New Year.

2005-12-31T22:39:00.001-08:00

I have great plans for this blog.
I hope to fill it with doodles, and stale Metafilter links, and questionable recipes.
Best wishes to all of you out there in NextBlogVille, and I raise my metaphorical glass to you in celebration of a newer and brighter year.

Here's a link to a big musical number from "Madagacar" in Kurdish.